Here are a few books and web resources I would recommend to those wanting more information about Borderline Personality Disorder
- Multimedia: A terific introduction to BPD in cartoon form, starring Borderline Bill
- Website: A BPD Overview for Clinicians, Consumers and Family Members, presentation by Perry D. Hoffman (US National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder.) A very comprehensive slide presentation (with audio recording) review of the issues around BPD as well as Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, from December 2007 — Internet Explorer only, plug-in required
- E-Book: A BPD Brief, twenty-page pamphlet by John Gunderson, offering an introductory overview of borderline personality disorder, explaining the DSM criteria, origins, course, self-harm behaviour, and status of treatment (as at publication in 2006.)
- Book: Kiera Van Gelder, The Buddha and The Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder Through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism and Online Dating (published by New Harbinger). Powerful memoir of the road to recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Full of humour, very poignant. Thoroughly recommended.
- Web resource: Guidance from National Institute of Clinical Evidence (NICE) — the body which makes recommendations to the NHS about treatment. This is their guidance on the treatment and management of Borderline Personality Disorder.
- Book list: Some of the titles on Stop the Storm were yet to be published when I first came across this blog. It's a very long and useful list.
- Book: Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder . How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship by Shari Y. Manning.
I am often faced with the same two questions from family members (parents) who bring their loved one for treatment. "Did I do something wrong, did I 'give' him/her this problem?" or "Am I making it worse now?, how should I react or behave around her/him"?
On the one hand, they don't want to be held hostage to repeated suicide threats and on the other they don't trust that their loved one can be left alone to cope for very long before the next crisis. They become 'ground down' by fear and guilt. They often tell me "I just don't know what to do to help her" and have the feeling that whatever they do is wrong. Of course, when they see that whatever they do does not help their loved one to improve over the longer term, this confirms their belief.
As a consequence, I often have family members attend a few sessions in order to learn DBT skills to help them response more effectively to their loved one's needs. Essentially, Mindfulness skills and non judgemental stance, Validation strategies, Interpersonal Effectiveness. Of course, not all families are interested in attending or learning skills to help reduce the persons emotional arousal. Some families refuse to accept that BPD is 'created' or a form of learnt behaviour and does not exist (as a disorder), in isolation. They often believe that they will be "blamed" for their adult child's problems, and that just simply is not so.
In my experience, "Loving Someone" is the 'Bible' for family members with someone who has BPD. It's written in a compassionate way and really helps the family/partner to understand from the inside what makes them tick. It gives lots of real life vignettes and is an invaluable resource. It is also the most practical book full of behavioural instructions and suggestions.
I recommend this amazing book for those family members and partners who are courageous enough to learn how to adjust or change their behaviour to feel closer to the person with BPD in their life.
- Blog: Really perceptive blog from Surrey-based, Sharon Howard, Day in the Life of a Busy Gal
Specific resources on self-harm and self-injury:
- Book: Michael Hollander Helping Teens Who Cut. Understanding and Ending Self-Injury.
- Book: Stopping the Pain. A Workbook for Teens Who Cut and Self Injure by Lawrence Shapiro
- Website: LifeSIGNS (Self Injury Guidance & Network Support) - online resource